tODAY AT WORK, AT MCDONALD’S, THE TOILET IN THE GIRLS’ ROOM LIKE BLEW UP AND WAS BLASTING WATER LIKE A FIREHOSE NONSTOP AND IT FILLED LIKE A FOOT OF WATER THROUGH THE WHOLE JOINT AND WE HAD TO CLOSE AND THE NEW MANAGER, PACO, WHO BARELY SPEAKS ENGLISH WAS ON DUTY AND HE WAS INCOHERENTLY FREAKING OUT IN SPANISH AND EVERYONE WAS COOKING FOOD AND EATING AND MAKING JOKES AND SAYING “START BUILDING THE ARC” AND FROM THE BASEMENT STAIRS AS THE WATER RUSHED DOWN WE WERE LIKE “NEVER LET GO JACK” AND SINGING “MY HEART WILL GO ON”. AND, TYRONE POSTED A SIGN SAYIGN “SORRY, WE TURNED INTO A WATERPARK INSTEAD OF A RESTAURANT TODAY” AND THEN THIS LADY CAME IN AND SAID SHE “WANTED HER BURGER EVEN IF THEY HAD TO SHIP IT OVER ON A BOAT” AND OMG IT WAS THE BEST DAY OF WORK IN MY LIFE I’M DYING
well, it wasn’t the best day for Paco, but still.
im quitting school
hahahahah fuck college, i’ll be a Girl cuddler lol
Me at family functions
This dog was just walking down my street.
One time my friend got a boner in class and the teacher thought it was his phone and grabbed it.
why do humans get such lame differences in appearance?? like there are a bunch of different species of dogs and turtles and birds like why couldnt’ we get cool stuff like spikes coming out of our heads or giant fangs or the ability to spray acid out of our mouths no we got different fur color
we can’t even handle having different skin tones without fucking everything up
why was ariel so impressed with the fucking fork in the ship “WHATS THIS WOW” are you kidding me your dad swings around a giant glorified golden fork everyday the state mermaid education is in is appalling
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